His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
