i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
