your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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