ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
