so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You may now shotgun with the bride
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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