Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
