We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
