She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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