I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
