how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We had sex on a dog bed..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
