I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
