I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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