i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
