you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im holly from the hills drunk
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
