dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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