Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
