My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
wow bdsm is so cute
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
