You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So many bounce houses so little time
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize