you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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