so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
