I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize