Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
