Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
