eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
