We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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