tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
