Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
