How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
