Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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