i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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