I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he thought i was a dude.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize