It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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