kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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