I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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