I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
