I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
