I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
