erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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