I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
