The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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