i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
