O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize