Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We had to coat check the pizza.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
