Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
