They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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