Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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