So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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