RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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