then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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