I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
