white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
