I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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