why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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