I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
