you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize