yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
