and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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