Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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