okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
